Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in YY's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
12:43 am	i think i might be going insane (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 25th, 2005
1:48 am	just because... i'm not back for good...just back to say: "don't know why i'm still afraid, if you weren't real i would make you up, now. i wish that i could follow through, i know that your love is true and deep as the sea, and right now, everything you want is wrong and right now, all your dreams are waking up and right now, i wish i could follow you to the shores of freedom, where no one lives. remember when we first me and everything was still a bet in love's game, you would call i'd call you back and then i'd leave a message on your answering machine, but right now, everything is turning blue and right now, the sun is trying to kill the moon and right now, i wish i could follow you to the shores of freedom where no one lives. freedom, run away tonight, freedom, run away, run away tonight. we're made out of blood and rust looking for someone to trust without a fight, i think that you came to soon, you're the honey and the moon that lights up my night, but right now, everything you want is wrong and right now, all your dreams are waking up and right now, i wish i could follow you to the shores of freedom, where no one lives. freedom, run away tonight, freedom, run away, run away tonight. we got too much time to kill like pigeons on my windowsill we hang around, ever since i've been with you you hold me up all the time i'm falling down, right now, everything is turning blue and right now, the sun is trying to kill the moon and right now, i wish i could follow you to the shores of freedom, where no one lives. freedom, run away tonight, freedom, run away, run away tonight. freedom, run away, run away tonight. freedom..." when it's all said and done, you're still the only one i love and have ever loved...laura - i miss you so much Current Mood: crushed and in tears Current Music: joseph arthur, honey and the moon (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 5th, 2005
12:59 am	it's time to say goodbye okay, after being without the internet for many weeks, i was unconsiously weaned from lj. so, here is my last post, unless something absolutely vital comes up. i think i'll still check up on people and i might write comments, but in terms of entries, i believe this is my final entry... so enjoy. deep down i guess we still care about each other and we will always treasure the times we had you have no idea how much i miss you THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY i saw her for the first time in a while. it was the other day. it was raining and my car had broken down. there i was, standing at the bus stop in my blue, italian jacket. i had neither umbrella nor raincoat. i stood there looking miserable and feeling worse. the rain flattened my hair and my eyes were focused on a spot on the sidewalk. she slowly walked up to me, smoking a cigarette. i knew from the smell of her smoke. marlborough lights. i could recognize that smell anywhere. "shit," she said, " i hate this weather. got a light?" i slowly looked at her. there she was. she had aged since the last time we saw each other, but her deep blue eyes were the same as they had always been. i could tell she had been struggling. her hair was a mess and she was even less equipped for this weather than me. "sure," i said, as i dug into my pant pockets for my lighter. "you want one?" she asked. "nah, i quit two years ago." i winked and extended my hand for a cigarette, but she must have missed the joke. she took the lighter. those long fingers reached towards my hand, brushed against my index finger and my thumb, and then retreated back. her fingers seemed elegant in all their movements. the way she handled the lighter and the way she held the cigarette between her index and middle finger seemed unbelievably graceful to me. was this the same girl that i knew in high school? it had to be, who else would have the same blue eyes and full lips that this woman possessed? i could only stare at her. our eyes met for a moment and i quickly looked away. it was still raining hard and i wished i had something to offer he. "want my jacket?" i asked timidly. "yeah, right...what good will that do?" i looked at my chest and at my sleeves and realized that my coat would now be worthless in any situation. "shit," i thought, "here i am. it's been so long. there has to be something to get a conversation started." the only thing breaking the queer silence was the rain falling; it was lighter now, but still making the pitter patter sound on the street and on the objects around us. "which bus are you taking?" i asked. "oh, i'm taking the 78," she said. she didn't seem interested in talking. "78...78, belmont, right?" "yeah, that's right." "funny, i used to live in belmont, you know." after a few moments of silence she finally asked, "what happened?" "nothing i guess. i just moved out of the house. i live in arlington now. do you live in belmont?" "no, i'm just going to visit a friend." "i see." more silence. it was almost 5, i had to get home and call the office to tell them what had had happened and to explain that i wouldn't get the waterhouse proposal done until the day after tomorrow. i saw the 88 approaching, and was about to bid her adieu, but something held me from going. i waved the driver on past us. "wasn't yours, was it?" i asked. "nope, that was the 88." "oh, right." her lips parted slightly, revealing a cautious, yet beautiful mini-smile. if there any doubts in my mind about her identity, that unforgettable smile erased all of them. as she continued to draw on her cigarette, the 98 came by and let off an old woman. "98," i thought, "that'd take me to arlington heights." but i held. the woman came off and i told the driver to continue. it was 5:30 at this point. i figured there was no point in rushing home now. as we continued to wait, i looked back at her. she was wearing tight blue jeans and a hoodie. as i was looking at her she pulled the hood over her head and took another draw on her cigarette. she was a marvel to look at. she was slim, but maintained a womanly figure. god, i remember her from way back with her young eyes and her smile; everything about her flooded back now. i remember the other boys and girls made fun of her because she dressed differently. she looked good. i guess she sort of always has in my mind. "you are...laura, right?" this got a full laugh out of her, "yeah, you're brian, right?" "in the flesh." she put out her cigarette, came over closer to me and gave me a big hug. she moved back a step and looked deep into my eyes. "man," she said, "you still look young, and you still look good." she started to laugh, "i'm a mess right now." "don't worry about it," i said, "you still look great to me." "hey, do you remember, back in high school, when alex asked me to the prom?" "yeah, i remember that." "yeah, and you took that girl, what was her name?" "elizabeth, i think it was." "yeah, elizabeth. well, i was just remembering how cute you looked that night." she caught me by surprise and i blushed. me, a grown man, was blushing. i was speechless, but after a few moments i finally managed to say, "well, i wanted to take you." "aw, that's so cute. you should have asked me!" another laugh. to hear her laugh brightened this crappy day, and i almost forgot it was raining. i looked into her eyes, trying to read her. but i couldn't pick up anything concrete. i was ready to ask her to come get some coffee with me when the 78 pulled up. "brian," she said, "i know your wife is really happy with you. i'm sorry things never happened between us. i wish it wasn't you who got away from me. but know that i secretly loved you and i stil kind of do." laura squeezed my hand and tried to read my eyes. i stared back at her, her palm burning in my hand, her index finger gently caressing my wedding band. "have a good life," she said as she boarded the bus. i stared as the bus went down the street until it took a right turn and was out of sight. i snapped back to reality. i had to get home to my wife. it was about 6 and she was probably just getting dinner ready. "no," i thought, "it wasn't me who got away, it was you." at 6:30 another 88 came by. i boarded it and sort of smiled to myself. it's always nice when someone tells you they love you. ...i love you Current Mood: nostalgic...i miss you Current Music: south - paint the silence (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
2:53 pm	brand new for you it's been a loooooooooong time since my last post. my apologies, but it really isn't my fault. my computer is still broken, and school is the only place i have internet access. anyway, to update: went to prom with steph shih and probably had the best prom experience so far despite being 0-5 in the ISL, we qualified for NEIRA's my schedule for the next 3 weeks is ridiculously packed my brother is getting me a shuffle today... sick. i'm sort of employed at bbn summer day camp now, which is good, cuz i need the money, but it's bad cuz it means i'll be working from june 27 to august 19... come stop by and say hey senior show went really well, i only forgot some of my lines, but otherwise the shows were a lot of fun and everyone who saw them enjoyed them. yay. isketch is amazing, and i got the whole crew team hooked on it i have to write a closing ceremonies speech... suggestions? senior prom could be an issue for various reasons........ star wars 3 definitely made up for 1 and 2 getting a new laptop this weekend HIGH SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER i've been filling out gtown stuff... and i have to write lots of essays. help - describe leadership in your own words... my tile is going to be siiiiiick i made a facebook thing, which is exciting. but it's a good thing that i don't have the internet at home, or else facebook would take over my life okaaaay, lots of stuff going on, and there's more, but i don't have the time or motivation to write anymore. let me know how things are going... preferably IN PERSON or on the phone cuz i can't really check this stuff too often. much love, yy Current Mood: excited Current Music: chili peppers - don't forget me (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
2:23 pm	my internet has been down for awhile... just to update: thanks everyone for birthday wishes and presents crew is dece i suppose...although it could be better i'm pumped for gtown, more than ever happy bday all you may ppl lemme know how life is going for you all senior show is may 18 and 19...everyone should come memento is UNBELIEVEABLE...as is infernal affairs andrew coles is awesome alex t needs to remember: bros before hoes... haha, just kidding gizem is MAD turkish i still need a prom date ...and i'm sure there is more interesting stuff going on, like getting into ANOTHER fight with my parents... okay, lemme know how things are going -yy Current Mood: tired Current Music: vanguard office chatter (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
10:53 pm	love you so...the stephanies in my life are amazing steph li has just always been the awesomest person ever... my sis, who's always been there, and my dc buddy next year. steph shih is also amazing. we're going to the jr. prom together, on her bday. so, i'm getting her something nice (suggestions?) and she also - i hope - will remember my bday, which is tomorrow. plus: we read books together, haha. "crumble like a dried cheese biscuit..." haha, what an awful book we read. dont know what i'm doin for my bday yet... prolly gunna buy cigs, porn, and scratch tix. but besides that... i'm stumped. i have to work tomorrow night, which is kinda ridiculous, but i'm getting paid tomorrow night, so it'll be a nice "birthday present." still need a prom date... but a few ideas have been formulating in the area of my brain that has yet to be affected by senioritis. perhaps i'll figure out who i'm going with sooner as opposed to later. maybe if i ask her on my bday, she CAN'T say no... hehe BUT oh celtics, why do you break my heart so... i still love you guys Current Mood: mellow Current Music: kenny chesney - i can't go there (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 30th, 2005
11:52 pm	my b-day is in 4 days (may 4) i don't want presents, but if you said happy bday and gave me a hug that would be super ps: i DO want presents, but dont feel obligated to get me anything (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:40 pm	there's always next week... so, it was another clean sweep... except we were the sweepees this week. we lost the ducey cup, and despite rowing a good race, bel hill managed to smoke us... all of us. it's okay tho, cuz we'll race them again at the invitational next week, and perhaps at the end of the season at neira's. nevertheless, i was pretty exhausted from the whole ordeal, but dinner was good and i got another kenny chesney cd, so... pretty good ending to a long morning. yeah, so... back to the "potential girl" - not so much. i'm too lazy to really pursue anything/anyone. so, i donno. unless things change a lot or the girl is a lil more open i suppose, then we'll see what happens. haha... you're still cut off. there's nothing wrong with me... just get over it. Current Mood: tired Current Music: kenny chesney - never gonna feel like that again (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 29th, 2005
11:37 pm	soph semi was surprisingly enjoyable. deb took me, and i had lots of fun. half the crew team was there, so it was a party. even though jack and mia weren't voted prom king and queen, i think they should have been. team dinner was good, at timur's. lots of food, yum yum, and seinfeld. i also managed to drive us from timur's, to dorothy's, to the prom in under 7 minutes. i know i scared all 8 of you who i had crammed into my car. but hey, at least i got us there, right? i also got sort of close to a new girl. major potential there...but it's gunna take a lil bit of effort, so we'll see how seriously i take this. anyway... i had fun tonight. but, i should rest considering we have the biggest race of the season tomorrow against bel hill. my knee is kind of sore from dancing and walking and what not, but i should be fine. we are huge underdogs to the former national champs... but hopefully we'll pull of an upset and steal a W. wish us look, and come cheer if you feel like it or have time. racing starts at 10 AM. powerhouse stretch. be there. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: bruce springsteen - secret garden (5 Comments |Comment on this)
12:17 am	you're cut off KSE52987 [11:48 PM]: crazy how one thing can change your perspective on everyhting yes indeed, and how one person/situation can make your life heaven or hell. i should be happy again soon...don't worry everybody, the REAL me will be back shortly. (just in case you were worrying...) congrats jack... hoya saxa PS: i won't TRULY be happy until my back and knee are better... leave some love or call and say hi if we haven't talked in awhile Current Mood: alcohol is the cure Current Music: kenny chesney - some people change (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
11:44 pm	a lil bit of soul-searching... thanks katie LAYER 1: - NAME: Younyoung Brian Lee aka yy, youn, youny, taeyang, tyrone - BIRTHDATE: 5/4/87 - BIRTHPLACE: boston - CURRENT LOCATION: belmont, the bridge... soon to be dc - EYES: brown - HAIR: black - RIGHT-HANDED/LEFT-HANDED: left LAYER 2: - YOUR HERITAGE: 100% korean - YOUR WEAKNESS: damsels in distress - YOUR SHOES YOU WORE TODAY: dress-shoes - YOUR FEARS: being alone, clowns - YOUR PERFECT PIZZA: special (everything except gross stuff like anchovies) - GOAL YOU'D LIKE TO ACHIEVE: have kids, go to law school/grad school LAYER 3: - YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST WAKING UP: thank you God, i miss you, and i hate my back - YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: eyes, hahahhaha - YOUR BEDTIME: varies...anywhere between 11 and 3 - YOUR MOST MISSED MEMORY: montreal, hawaii with the fam, sox games (when tix were $12) LAYER 4: - PEPSI OR COKE: neither - MCDONALD'S OR BURGER KING: mcdonald's breakfast, bk dinner and lunch - SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: single til college, so i've decided - LIPTON ICED TEA OR NESTEA: snapple - CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: both - CAPPUCCINO OR COFFEE: cappuccino is for "sophisticated" ppl, so coffee please LAYER 5: - SMOKE: sigh - CUSS: when i'm mad or drunk - SING: ALL the time - TAKE SHOWERS DAILY: of course - WANT TO GET MARRIED: yeah, but as long as i have kids i'd be happy - BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: yeah - THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE: hmm, more so than before - THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: only during crew season and the off-season... so yeah - GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: if by get along you mean "we fight but still love each other" then yes - LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: absolutely - PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: piano and saxophone LAYER 6 (in the past 6 months): - GONE TO THE MALL: yah - EATEN AN ENTIRE BOX OF OREOS: nope - EATEN SUSHI: yeah, mom's sushi after the derryfield race, yummmm... and numerous times before that too - BEEN ON STAGE: yeah, senior show - GONE SKATING: new years eve, but i got yelled at - MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: yeah - GONE SKINNY DIPPING: nope - DYED YOUR HAIR: never have - STOLEN ANYTHING: i might have by accident LAYER 7 (ever..) - BEEN TRASHED OR EXTREMELY INTOXICATED: haha, nooooo, NEVER (sarcasm) - BEEN CALLED A TEASE: i dont think so - GOT BEATEN UP: yeah LAYER 8 - AGE YOU HOPE TO BE MARRIED: early...20s maybe 24 - NUMBER AND NAME OF CHILDREN: 3 or 4. james, andrew, amy, hope - HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE: surrounded by loved ones or helping someone else - WHERE DO YOU WANT TO ATTEND COLLEGE: georgetown, hoya saxa - DREAM JOB: federal agency or government position - COUNTRY YOU WANT TO VISIT: spain, and go to korea again, of course LAYER 9 (in a girl or guy) - BEST EYE COLOR: no preference - BEST HAIR COLOR: no preference - HEIGHT: i would prefer if she were shorter than i am - BEST WEIGHT: what a horrible question...i dont care as long as i can pick her up/give her a piggy-back ride - BEST FIRST DATE LOCATION: a walk... anywhere, maybe like camping, around a camp fire - FIRST KISS LOCATION: a playground, under the slide LAYER 10 - NUMBER OF PEOPLE I COULD TRUST WITH MY LIFE: 4 (excluding family) - NUMBER OF CDS THAT I OWN: too many - NUMBER OF PIERCINGS: zero - NUMBER OF TATTOOS: none... yet - NUMBER OF TIMES MY NAME'S BEEN IN THE NEWS: never in REAL news - NUMBER OF SCARS ON MY BODY: at least 7 - NUMBER OF THINGS IN MY PAST THAT I REGRET: a few, but at least i learned from them Current Mood: bored Current Music: the killers - mr. bright side (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
11:06 pm	good night sox won a thriller, clement pitched a gutsy game, foulke got his shit together... good stuff tonight. prac ended early because of dan's commitment, and i am not complaining in the least. i sat around and napped until my parents got home. woke up, had dinner, watched tv (sox, csi), and got a special phone call tonight. overall, a very good night. laura called which made the night complete. it was nice to hear from her again, and although i suck at calling her and "keeping in touch" with her, she seems to be making all the effort now, when before i was making all the efforts. so yeah...good night. plus, as i wrote previously, vikram is my hero. he jumped into the charles river to save our boat... now THAT is dedication. anyway, i'm supposed to be off-book for scenes one and two tomorrow...oops, sorry joe. whatever, almost nothing could spoil this night. so before i let anything ruin it... good night. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: doves - caught by the river (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:04 pm	vikram saini is my hero (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 17th, 2005
10:10 pm	it's official quote of the night brought to you by my brother: "You should thank your kidneys." oh, i do...and i will thank them for all the hard work they will be doing once i am at GEORGETOWN next fall. yes, it is now official. i will be attending georgetown this fall. HOYA SAXA. i was there this weekend on an admitted students weekend thing, and it basically sealed the deal for me. anyway, so i got back saturday night, went out to chill with my bro and his gf bought me a crepe to congratulate me. i saw shrek 2, even tho i fell asleep half-way thru it cuz i was exhausted, and we played hours upon hours of pac man. today, went to church with the parentals and enjoyed a particularly good sermon today about forgiveness and i heard about a lot of peoples' testimonies. so, it was nice. then, my "student" canceled our tutoring session, so i had the afternoon free to just relax and chill after what felt like a long weekend. then, the homies came over for some poker and BK. sox swept the d-rays which is always nice and the yankees have been losing to the ORIOLES. it's been a good weekend, except for the fact that i have crew at 8:30 tomorrow morning...oh joy. after the gaap weekend, it was nice to learn that SFS kids do have time to party and it was nice to see that all the kids at gtown seemed more or less normal and the vast majority of them were, shall i say, "attractive." and not to sound shallow, they were all really smart and nice too. so anyway, it's official... hoya saxa. Georgetown, School of Foreign Service, 09 Current Mood: i'm ready for gtown (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
12:04 am	even after you're gone... now that project has begun i haven't seen a lot of you, and it's depressing. so, here's for everyone that i haven't seen or talked to in awhile whether you're at bucky high or not. everyone likes to hear that they're missed...so, here goes. i miss my sister jess... life just isn't the same without french i miss al cuz we like were partners in crime during the year, what with SC, french, and calc ...in fact, i just miss our french class. maddy, michelle, mikhaela, and of course mad t. justin and nicole, i see enough of you two already at senior show. i miss steph and the early morning crew. noonan, adam, ellen, hanna, all of you. i miss my ethnic group of brothers alex and andrew and nate dogg i miss my span and chem class and all the juniors that i don't see anymore i miss (sort of) SC and our weekly arguments and emotional break downs i miss my montreal friends (laura, kailey, ryan, andy, emily, nina, leah, sam, seb) i miss my advisor group (bekah, hillary, stefan) i miss my calc class, or those who dropped it rather and all you underclassmen, i took you guys for granted, and i miss you all too i miss all the upperclassmen who graduated and are in college. i miss _ _ _ _ _ who's at bc and i'm limited to seeing her only during vacations cuz i'm too lazy to actually go to bc and visit... i miss the HOMIES and finally... i miss you, yes YOU... whoever you may be and i'm still missing a part of me cuz you have it "i love you man, we don't say it enough" Current Mood: missing yesterday already Current Music: 3 doors down - away from the sun (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
12:19 am	okaaaaaay as mike s. so observantly noted, i am back in second boat... it is an all-senior boat. and like before, i'm not sure how i feel about this. hm, what else happened today...taught french, did calc hw, watched whose line and csi, had a mellow night more or less. not much to report and too physically drained to invest the time/effort for something more emotional. ps: i still need a prom date... Current Mood: brr...my house is cold Current Music: bed time magic is over :( (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
12:08 am	is it unreasonable to miss two days of practice to visit a college so you can determine where you're spending the next four years of your life? plus: i was demoted, but i'm not sure how i feel about it yet rough day to start the week... although i did get paid today, and yes kate, you hit the nail on the head in terms of how i will be spending this money... Current Mood: angry and tired (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
11:38 pm	WASP ...now i stand at the foot of her bed and watch her sleep, and silently ask the question "who are you?" but the question only echoes back upon myself. oh, i know what she goes through. she aches with desire. she reaches out for nothing, and nothing comes back. she is bound by walls of feeling. they surround me too, but i must reach through the walls and provide. there is no providing on a lingering summer's walk; there is no providing in a caress. i have been to the place she wants me to go. i have seen how the king of feelings, the great god Romance seats us in his giant hand and thrusts us upward and slowly turns us under the sky. but it is given to us only for minutes, and we spend the rest of our lives paying for those few moments. love moves through three stage: attraction, desire, need. the third stage is the place i cannot go. Current Mood: studying my lines Current Music: the sound of silence (Comment on this)
Friday, April 8th, 2005
10:57 pm	stupid survey thingy 01). Total volume of music files on my computer? a lot... at least 2000 02). The last CD I bought was: the game, the documentary 03). The last song I listened to before writing this was: ben harper - walk away 03b). Song playing right now: ben harper - how many miles must we march 04). Five songs I listen to a lot at the moment ... juicy - notorious big, honey and the moon - joseph arthur, walk away/how many miles must we march - ben harper, i dont need your love - the game, old town new - tim mcgraw 05). Which 5 people are you passing this baton to? no one, i am killing this survey thing Current Mood: rough day Current Music: ben harper - how many miles must we march (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
12:33 am	this one's for the ages i have gotten "off-track" so to speak lately. sooo, back to my epiphanies. i know i have been on a gtown rant as of late, and this time i will only reference gtown to prove a larger and more significant point. now that we are on project, i haven't seen too many ppl. a lot of you are off-campus or have picked classes/studies in the afternoon when i have senior show and crew. so, i have come to the shocking realization that i have only been in direct contact with about 20 or 30 of you all... when i was in contact with just about all of you almost daily before project began. as i have been talkin to a lot of people that are already in college, i hear talk of how college will be the best four years of my life, that college years will never be replaced by any other time...well, it seems to me that the high school years are often lost in the whirlwind of these 8 consecutive years. i was finally brought to this realization when a friend of mine from bc reminded me that i will truly miss my high school friends. when i told this same friend that i wouldn't be seeing them that much anymore, she, in her infinite wisdom, reminded me again that i would have vacations to see them all. i guess until now i've just kept on pushing into the back of my mind that i wont see everyone for awhile. and i think i've been trying to avoid thinking about it cuz when you think about it, you worry, and when you worry, you can't enjoy the present cuz you're occupied with the future. my brother does not stay in touch with many ppl from high school. but my brother is also very different from me. nonetheless, he has his two or three friends he has stayed in touch with over the years, but i feel like i have so many more people to stay in touch with and i dont know if it would really be possible. and it scares me. it scares me that i'll be so far away from my home and what has become so comfortable to me. it's tough to make a decision when you try to please everyone. it's just not possible to please everyone. but me, in my infinite stupidity, try to do just that. yay, hooray for me. i dont really like when ppl talk about "the road less traveled by..." cuz to be honest, i think that that is complete and utter bullshit. in this day and age, there is no road that is less traveled. in fact, the road we take isn't what matters. most people spend their entire lives just LOOKING for the path to travel. it's not the road to we choose, but hte decisions we make, the people we affect, the changes we make, the way we grow, and the strength of our character that is important. people could sit at a cross-road and spend their entire lives weighing the pros and cons of each road. but i'd rather just get on a road and do the most with what i have. and to TAKE that road wherever it might go. it's not to say you are "unlucky" because no one can change luck. there is nothing to be done about unlucky breaks. i think we should just take them and say that that is what reality is. this is how cruel the world can be. and in the end, the universe does tend to right itself, and somehow, the thing that went wrong (like getting rejected from your top choice), could turn into YOUR lucky break. it's true that when it rains, it fucking pours, but when you get on a streak, you better ride high and ride it til it ends and take full advantage of every opportunity and every experience you encounter. if you can take something meaningful out of every experience of every day... then you truly are bettering yourself and teaching yourself how to adjust, how to cope, and how to enjoy everything around you. so here is my gtown reference... my mom and i are going to gtown next weekend to visit. my mom told me last night that we would be going out to dinner with a friend of hers in DC. now, my mom is not one to travel much. in fact, she doesn't really do anything (besides golf) unless it's with the family. so, when i heard that she had a friend in DC, i assumed it was someone who used to be from the boston area and happened to move to DC. so, i didn't dig for answers. after we finished grocery shopping and on our way to my grandma's house, she reminded me again that i would need to find a hotel because her friend in dc wouldn't be able to host us. i had no idea who this "friend" was, so i finally decided to ask. turns out, this woman went to school with my mom in korea. they were int he same class and graduated together. not college, but high school. my mom went from her high school, to a 2-year college, then immigrated to the US, got married, had two kids, and settled in belmont. but in the past 30 or so years since she last had daily contact with this friend, it seemed as if nothing had changed. she just picked up the phone one day and told her friend we'd be in DC. i was stunned... absolutely amazed. ...and i felt kind of selfish. here i am, end of high school, and not sure if i should just burn all my bridges, or just hold on to my really close friends, or what. i didn't know if i should just start fresh in college or not. cuz i didn't know how close i really would be to my friends after high school finished. and as i said before, i was scared. but seeing how my mom is now with her friend from high school, i sort of breathed a sigh of relief. i think i can safely assume i can count on my best friends to still be there at the end of things. to be there no matter what might happen in our lives. and i feel bad, just thinking that i might have abandoned some of you all for other ppl or other things. this might not be my most profound entry, although it is definitely one of my longer ones... which is why this one's for the ages. just like my friends, and all the people i have met and all the people that have affected my life and who i am. cuz they will always stay with me til the very end. and although i wont always be able to aknowledge everyone, i can safely say that everyone i have come into contact with, everyone i have met, and everyone who's been a part of my life, is a part of who i am. those people will stay with me through the ages, and i hope that i had as profound of an effect on the people around me (in a positive way) as everyone else has had on me. i never want to forget my friends or the people that are close to me or the people that have affected me. so, this one will truly be for the ages and i will truly and hopefully always remember everyone and be thankful for all that i have and all the people around me who truly bless my life. okaaay, i'm starting to get sappy, but this is the truth. i will never forget a lot of the fun i've had with certain people, and all the tears with other people. and at the end of the day, i just hope that everybody can say and feel like they've made an impact on whatever road they might be traveling, or they've made an impact on their way to finding their road. it's such a long road that we've been walking on, but lets keep it up. i'm starting to miss you guys already "i was crying over you. i am smiling, i think of you..." Current Mood: thinking about you all Current Music: alexi murdoch - orange sky (Comment on this)